being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
