He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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