splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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