Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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