That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
