Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Where is the hickey?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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