I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize