Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You're like the curious george of whores
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
