So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
worst night to have a conscience
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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