the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
