I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
