HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize