You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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