why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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