Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
