I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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