Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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