i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
