i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She's JV to your varsity
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
