That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
