Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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