I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
