If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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