We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
