my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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