actually, I'm a sock model
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
