We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
