OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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