he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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