I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize