i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize