Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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