Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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