I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
