Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
