.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize