And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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