So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
