Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize