her vagina looked like bernie madoff
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
