He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Never joke about your clitoris.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
