i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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