the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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