She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
