wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
