I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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