some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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