meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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