yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
