It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
