Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There are leaves in my underwear?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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