Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
