If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
