Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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