every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
