We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I love you.
Bad choice
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