She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
