just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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