i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
