for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
