You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
