You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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