so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
