The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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