please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
